I am semi-dying for a dreamwidth account. If you OR ANYONE YOU KNOW KNOWS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS SOMEONE, who has a codsies, pass it on!!!!!


Also, look out for an update from me this weekend. I gots big news! :)

Right. So. I'm back!

And it's been nearly a year now since I have updated. I'll be brief. Last July, I decided, quite on impulse, to say eff it all and went to South Korea to spend a month with my boyfriend Jordan, who is on contract there teaching English. When I returned in early August it was to pack all of my belongings and fly to Windsor, Canada, where he lives, and move into his apartment. Why, you ask? Because I was sick to death of Baltimore, where I had been living for the last few years. WELL, he is returning home from Asia in a month, so I have flown back to the States, where he will also be coming, this time to Port Charlotte, FL, where we both decided we wouldn't mind lurking for a bit before he decides if he wants to continue with Law School in Canada or renew his contract in Korea for another year (I would be joining him this time. No way in hell I am spending another year away from him!!!) I also took a brief trip to Surrey and caught up with family and friends before coming here, which was nice. But it also feels nice to have my feet planted somewhere for a bit...

So that's where I am now. And I've just gotten the internet (I had decided against getting it in Windsor, and only occassionally diddled around with it on my iphone) but the calling rates from the States to Asia are so relentless I gave in and got the internet in the house. (He often tells me that I am the only person in the world who can live without the internet and he is very suspicious of that.) Anyway, I am just rambling because I don't really know what else to say.... As for the fics and communities I abandoned, I will most likely start working on the fics again, though since I really only post on CG that won't be happening until THE RETURN, and as for Adult_dhr, I am thinking I might play around with it for a bit and do something new with it. I never did like that it was just this archive sitting around collecting dust. All else is eally not important enough to me at this point in my life to bother with. So it's good to back! How have you all been? What's new?

Just signed up for the DMHGFICEXCHANGE. :D

And I am almost done my HPPP story, and am ... kinda sorta pleased. Maybe afer a beta and rewrite?
...


SO WHO ELSE IS PLAYING THIS TIME 'ROUND!?!

Come on everyone, go join in on the fun;
Nominate you favourite ship, or second them where you see fit!

(I'm not a poet and I know it.)

Fandom Superlatives 2008!

I woke this morning to find a rather ... passionate email from someone I'd previously respected in my inbox this morning, concerning the fact that I voted for jameth in the LJ election. This person also accused me of being anti-fandom, and removed me from thier f-list. First let me say this: the rumour that jameth is 'anti-fandom' is just that. A rumour. Gossip. Bullshit. But that's beside the point.
He is against ASPECTS of fandom (specifically those that are against the TOS) that I, personally, agree cheapen not only fandom but things much, much more significant.

I tried not to be bothered by these accusations against me, and the complete ignorance of this person, but, nope.

Totally offended am I.

I had decided to not post about the election on my journal for several reasons, (one being I hadn't gotten the inpression any of you gave a hell about the damn thing, and I don't blame you) even though I was pretty peeved about the malicious gossip going around about the candidate, whom I respect, and have respected long before deciding to give him my vote), and by the completely unjustified attacks against me, at times, for supporting him as opposed to legomymalfoy

I am going to state my veiws very, very clearly here, and anyone who wishes to befriend me for them, be my guest. Add that is the last thing I will say on the matter.

I do NOT support writing underaged characters, fictional or otherwise, in rape scenarios.
Particularly when the victims are depicted as 'enjoying it' somehow. I get trying to understand the situation by writing it, but I'm sorry, I suppose I just don't have enough faith in people to think this is why they're doing it, 100%, or even 2% of the time.

I know that a lot of women have rape fantasies. I'm aware. And I don't judge this. I do, howvever, think that this should be explored privately. And carefully. Cheapening the real severity of it, however, and treating it as if it is merely there for you to 'explore' is also wrong. I don't accuse anyone of this, nor do I jump to any conclusions, but I can't help but be aware that it happens.

I do however, think there is something wrong with thinking it's okay to write children being raped by adults, and enjoying it. And there is nothing anyone could ever, ever say that would justify that. Age of consent aside, there has to be boundaries.

That is why I did not support legomymalfoy. NOT because I am a jameth fangirl, as above mentioned person so eloquently phrased it.

Fictional or otherwise, in my opinion, it is wrong. No, I do not think anyone who does this is twisted, or a closet pedo, or anything like that. But I do think it takes a very skilled person to write about the matter and handle it delicately enough to depict the situation accurately, and I do not respect anyone who uses the situation for 'entertainment purposes'. I am sorry to say, the average fanfic author (or, author in general, actually) lacks the deep understanding of the scenario to convey it for what it is, and disrespects anyone who has ever been through such a thing monumentally, while barely even comprehending that they've done so, a vast majority of the time.

I am sick and tired of the rep these sorts of stories give fandom, and the bullshit they produce. I am fed up with these people thinking they represent some sort of 'freedom' of fandom, and that they are doing all fandomers a favour. NO. Fucking hell no.
In MY OPINION, this situation does NOT represent fandom, or even a significant portion of it. I do not think it represents what I want to believe fandom to be. So while I may be against THAT, admittedly, I hardly think myself, or jameth can be accused of being 'anti-fandom' for that.

If anyone does, yes, emphatically I say, please do befriend me. I don't think we'll have much in common anyway.

That is all.

:)

ETA: This quote, stated better than I could ever put it: "The biggest thing I object to is this idea that legomymalfoy is representative of fandom. Harry Potter is the worst thing to happen to fandom for all the time I've been on the internet. I say Harry Potter, but I think to say a number of Harry Potter fans would be more accurate (and I will state for those that lack reading and comprehension skills - a number /= all).

Being a fan of something once carried the slightly inconvenient social stigma of people seeing you as living in your mother's basement and reading too many comics than was considered healthy for a grown adult. Now for anyone online, particularly outside 'fandom', it has practically become synonymous with paedophile.

Whilst I'm quite competent at recognising the difference between fantasy and real life and I'm not going to start throwing accusations and say legomymalfoy is a 'pedo' on the basis of the fic she writes, there are a lot of people who do find the distinction between the two to be murky ground.

This is not a brush I want to be tarred with by association. I don't write porn of any kind outside of a 'parody' context (and that rarely) and have no interest in porn fics involving underage characters (or characters 'aged up'). I don't think the current election winner was a good choice for helping to dispel the negative associations brought to 'fandom' with the whole strikethough debacle.

Besides, I keep being told she represents fandom. What I want to know, is what exactly does she know about giant robots? How could she possible represent my part of fandom if she can't tell Iacon from her elbow?"
---designationjazz

As for the 'Harry potter' bit, it makes me sad that people think like this about this fandom.

:( :( :(

Come visit my City! I need Peepz to getz more transportz!
http://opirium.myminicity.com

Just ... I .... ugh.... and...

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Harry Potter fanfic debate here:

http://jameth.livejournal.com/4369710.html?thread=80404526#t80404526

Is it art?

Is it entertainment?

Can it be both?

IS IT EVEN LITERATURE?

Should someone lead this woman to gravidy's GotL?

What say you?

RAWR.

Right. SO, a few hours into writing and I've hit a roadblock. I've come to the conclusion that I can be really really ... psychological(?) in my writing. Which is why I think first person comes so naturally while third person is a bit like pulling teeth.

Like, I can get down to the nitty gritty of a character's psychology. I can twist and manipulate the story that way. I can do that. In fact, it's what I do. But because of this, I can not seem to write action to save my friggin life. Like, I can talk for endless hours about the need for revenge. The plotting. The emotion. The drive.

But when it comes down to that BIG SCENE, where it's all 'sposed to actually, you know, HAPPEN?

Nothing.

The story falls flat on its face. Every single time.


Is this the sacrafice? Is there a balance? Am I the only one who feels like being good at one of these completely diminished the possibility of excelling at the other? I know, I know, practice makes perfect, or whatever. And it's true, I have never really pushed myself to write that action scene. Instead, I get to here: 'And then he jumped....' (delete delete delete) And do this: 'He sat down and thought about the consequences of jumping, and how badly he wanted to just do it anyway'

It's actually pretty disappointing to realise that I am destined to write the same kind of story over and over and over. Action is where the entertainment is. It's the MEAT. (ammiwrong?) It's what gets ya the readers. Not that I'm doing it for the readers. But in a way aren't we all?

It just seems to me that my favourite authors are not those who write the psychological aspect exceptionally well, but physical action interation and reaction.

:/

And I suck at all that. Real hard.

I think I'm just frustrated. Time to take a break.
Maybe get some sleep.
Maybe not.
:\

What's up with you?

Find something you would like to create with. This can be with plasticine, papier mache, words, pipe cleaners and sequins, colored pencils, construction paper, popsicle sticks, or other media.

Sit down and fidget with your materials. Build a little hut out of words and popsicle sticks. Call it "Abraham Lincoln's Log Cabin, No Trademark Infringement Intended."

Put it on your desk and be proud. Feel refreshed. Show it to your friends.

Six months later, notice it collecting dust. Think, huh, that could be better.

Take it apart. Put it together. Fix the roofline. Use some plasticine for stickum this time. Give it a styrofoam chimney.

Put it back on your desk.

Six months later, add some pipe clearer smoke to the chimney, with the cool wooly pipe cleaners. Call it "Abraham Lincoln's Log Cabin V. 2.0, No Trademark Infringement Intended."

Take the pipe cleaner smoke off again. Call it "Abraham Lincoln's Boyfriend's Log Cabin, No Trademark Infringement Intended."

Make bricks for the chimney out of sequins. Pin them on with straight pins.

Color the popsicle sticks in with magic marker. Decide you don't like it. Start over with fresh popsicle sticks. Call it "Not Your Daddy's Lincoln Log Cabin, No Trademark Infringement Intended."

Decide you don't like that either.

Make little pipe cleaner people and animals and put them around. Act out their soap-opera daily dramas. (Oh, Momma, Billy's in with the sheep again!) Call it: "When Laura Ingalls Wilder Went Down On The Farm, No Suggestion Of Libelous Intent Intended."

Try tempera paint this time.

Hmm. Better.

Dab white glue on the chimney sequins with a q-tip because they are too shiny and don't look like real bricks.

Color in the tempera-painted popsicle sticks with charcoal and chalk, to add shading and texture. Experiment with watercolor.

Collect spruce needles and pine cones. Start gluing the spruce needles around the base of the house as foundation plantings. Call it "My Farm In A Time Of Hard Drought, or: This Is Not The Tempest." Snicker about it when people ask.

Notice a beetle infestation. Spray. Leave it outside until the smell comes off.

Start shingling the roof with pine cone scales.

Realize they clash with the sequins.

Unpin the sequins. Replace them with glued-on dried navy, kidney, black, and pinto beans. Hey, it's a fieldstone fireplace. what?

Make a ragged door out of piece of bark. Realize you do not know how to hang it. Lean it up against the side of the house.

Steal the brass knob off the top of the pepper mill for a doorknob. Whistle when your husband asks you if you've seen the little bit that goes on top of the pepper thing. Turn the house around to face the wall for a week or two.

Finish shingling the back of the roof. Get some sphagnum moss and tiny silk roses, and go around under the eaves with it.

In the back.

Where nobody will ever see it.

Defend this by saying it was how your grandmother said one should finish a quilt, even the bits on the inside. Well, she didn't say sphagnum moss, exactly.

Take off all the pine cone scales are try again with a different species.

Hmm. Maybe maple helicopters?

Figure out that you can hinge the door with bent sewing pins and scraps of leather shoelace. It hangs crooked. Put a hook-and-eye latch on the other side to straighten it out. Call it, "My Side Of The Mountain With A Builder's Permit."

Spend about a day and a half fiddling with your Real! Working! Door!, making the little pipecleaner people go in and out.

Borrow your brother's skillsaw. Cut windows. Realize the tempera and charcoal detailing looks faker than fake.

Glaze the windows with hand-split flakes of mica. Put tiny christmas lights around the edges of the windows so they glow from within. Forget to make a hole for the plug.

Borrow the skillsaw again.

Go on vacation with your family. Spend the entire time sitting on the beach fiddling with sand and shells, thinking about patterns.

Come back and add a driftwood tree, and a sea-glass walkway border. Try to figure out how to glue down sand so it doesn't look terrible.

Ask for a skillsaw for the holidays.

Realize that if you use a THIRD species of pine cone for the roof, you can make siding out of maple helicopter shakes. Spend about five weeks painstakingly applying these by hand.

Realize the result looks like ass, but you finally got the roof right this time.

Take all the maple helicopters off again and use them to make furniture instead, with rose-hip chair cushions.

Realize that you could have just used spray adhesive. Suffer a crisis of faith. Berate yourself as a stupid failure.

Play with the little people and the furniture until you calm down. Get some cat-tail stems. Split them painstakingly in half and cut them to size. Glue them over the popsicle sticks. Now, *that* looks like a cabin. And nobody will ever notice that bit in the back where the overlap is a little rough.

Tuck some sphagnum moss into it, just to be sure.

And a tiny silk rose.

Realize it's done.

Look at it for a day or two, just to be sure.

Set up all the pipe cleaner people, give them tiny little acorn cap hats and flowerstem walking sticks. Give one a pair of dragonfly wings and another one a feather. Realize that no, the feather goes on this one, instead. Call it "Midnight In The Garden Of The Fairy Hut."

The best pipe cleaner animal is always the pony. You don't know why; you just have a knack for ponies.

Love all the little pipe cleaner people and animals so much it's very hard to do what you have to do next.

Realize that the pine cone scales, in the cold of winter, have wept tiny golden droplets of sap all over the roof, where they catch the light and smell of summer. Realize you never could have got that effect on purpose in a thousand patient years.

Stall.

Make a tiny, tiny lashed ladder from birch twigs and bark. Run it up under the eaves to the attic window. Secure it with a drop of Krazy Glue.

Hey, it dries clear. Nobody will ever know.

Stall.

Finally, on a bright cool day in early June, take the whole thing outside, set it on the patio, douse it in lighter fluid and set it on fire. But make it look like an electrical fire, not arson.

Take pictures before and after, and all the while it burns.

Go through and pick out the best ones. Be surprised by the color of the flames. Call it, "Ladder in the woods."

Hang the pictures in a gallery. Try to look uninterested as you listen to people exclaim, "I really think she should have used sequins for the chimney!" and "Hey, there's a bit in the back here where the cat-tail stems are messed up" and "You know, the pony is much better than all the other animals," and "Oh! Look! A tiny silk rose!!!"

Love that last person with all your heart. Love them so much you have to leave the room for a moment to compose yourself. Think, I knew I put that rose there for someone. I just didn't know at the time that it was you.

Looking at the pictures, realize you have figured out how to do a better job on the chimney after all.

And the next one is going to have a barn. And a second story.

And maybe a pub next door, God willing.

Leave the pictures on the wall of the gallery. Walk away, thinking, "That doesn't look a thing like the house, really, but I still kind of like it." Endure a moment of intense melancholy while you think about the pony.

When you go home, rake the cool ashes for the bits of sea glass and the knob to the pepper mill, and save them--cracked and discolored--in an opaque jar on the corner of your desk.

When your husband wanders in and asks what smells like burning, sniff thoughtfully and pretend you don't notice a thing.


--Elizabeth Bear


This made me immensely happy. Oh, it's good to be a writer today, oh yes oh yes.

Sister and bb update: Both are extremely well. Thank you to everyone for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. They worked. <3

Tyler is still in Hospital, but will be coming home within the month. It was also really good to be home. I didn't want to leave. :(